were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
