Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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