I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
