If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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