Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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