We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
