Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
