I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
