Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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