she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
