My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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