Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
