He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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