I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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