the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
