I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
