yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
