nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
