We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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