i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
