Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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