Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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