There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
