Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
