Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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