just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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