i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
