Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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