She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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