he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
