OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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