this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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