Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
