well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
