ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
