1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
