We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
