I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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