Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
