I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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