Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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