Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
jump out the window naked night went bad
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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