i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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