Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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