No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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