I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
