i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have aggressive nipples.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
