how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
