i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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