Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
