The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
