yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
